Life After 50: Could This Be The Reason You're Not Having Sex? Artice by Barbara Hannah Grufferman

Life After 50: Could This Be The Reason You're Not Having Sex?

Shortly after turning 50, I had dinner with a group of girlfriends. Over great food and a fantastic bottle of pinot noir we chatted about kids, spouses, jobs, and politics, until the discussion eventually settled on sex.
At that time, I was still getting to know my new post-menopausal body, which seemed to present a different challenge every day. In addition to the extra pounds I started to pack on -- all of which eventually came off -- my eyes, hair, and skin were feeling drier than usual.

While I was happy to share notes with my friends on the best eye drops and hair conditioners to address the dryness, the new fitness program I was on, or how to stay cool during hot flashes, even in this 'safe place' among close friends I was loath to admit that sex wasn't as pleasurable as it once was and as a result wasn't as frequent . . . because of vaginal dryness.

I am not alone. Women's sense of self-esteem and power are tightly woven into our sexuality. In this youth-crazy society in which we live, admitting that our vaginas are changing -- even to our friends -- is like carrying a poster that states: "Ignore me. I'm over the hill." We rationalize that anyone can have dry eyes or hair, but only women who are getting old have dry vaginas (which isn't true). And, it's so easy to think that you're the only one who has the problem.

That couldn't be farther from the truth.

According to the North American Menopause Society (NAMS), vaginal dryness affects 75 percent of postmenopausal women. And most suffer in silence.

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