Written by Kiri Blakeley on CafeMom’s blog, The Stir\
When you get your heart broken, there's one thing that tends to obsess you: Getting closure. How many times did you or your friend use that excuse to contact the ex, have a phone call or meeting? Or even sex? "Well, I just have to get some closure," you or your friend say. Hey, I've been guilty of it myself. In fact, I recently found myself in an email discussion with an ex, and at the end of it, I wrote something like, "Well, it's nice to get some closure."
I didn't really feel much closure, to be honest. He still said things I knew to not be true. I still wondered why I'd given the relationship so many damn chances, despite my gut telling me things were not right. And I still wondered why he'd done X, Y, and Z. But closure -- that thing that ties up your relationship in a big bow and explains all -- is that elusive unicorn we chase after a split. Why?! Hannah Brecher writes poignantly in The Huffington Post about the illusion of closure.
Hannah writes of her own misguided efforts to find "closure":
When I was 16 years old, my best friends and I used to hold "Closure Ceremonies." If you can imagine four girls sitting around in a circle smashing necklaces and teddy bears to bits with hammers until the voice boxes that said "I love you" fell out from their stuffed guts, then that was us. We were lovesick girls with anthems of bravery within us. We burned love notes. We screamed and cussed a bit. And then we held one another. We didn't give answers.Maybe that's it. We just need some kind of ritual. Burn the love letters. Photoshop him out of the photos. But can you ever really find closure?
Here are five reasons closure is a myth:
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